How to Be Confident & What is it?
A typical morning routine includes waking up and looked in the mirror. All of us do it, yet do any of us actually look and see who is in the reflection? Did you see someone strong…
- Who has self confidence?
- That has self respect?
- Who has a good self image?
Or perhaps was it someone who…
- Doubts themselves and doesn’t know how to be confident?
- Is stressed or fearful about making self improvement?
- Lacks courage to venture outside of the comfort zone?
No matter which person you saw in the mirror this morning, an invitation is on the table to come and learn about how to build self confidence and increase your self-esteem. For those who lean towards the confident side, stick around and see what can still be learned.
If you tend to be on the low end of the self respect pole, come learn how to be confident in yourself and in life. For those who are lacking the confidence that they once had in the past, this article will also help them know how to get confidence back!
The rest of this article will address what confidence is, along with a little confidence test. In addition, there will be actionable steps along the way to help build self confidence back up in yourself. As a bonus… please find some great quotes on self confidence and a quick confidence tips list.
Let’s get started…
What is Confidence?
What is self confidence, really? Confidence is a belief in ones’ self. An understanding of one’s own abilities and qualities, giving one a self appreciation that they can handle anything life throws their way.
In simple terms, confidence is a firm trust in yourself.
For a moment, imagine that life is like hiking a mountain. The trail has lots of ups and downs, but in general, the idea is to constantly try to get to a higher place (the peak). This hike is more than within the grasps of everyone’s reach. Yes, it will take working through the pain, having a few muscle cramps, and experiencing one or two excruciating difficulties to get there. Yet it is possible.
Likewise, when one is confident, they have a self belief that they can tackle life’s challenges just like that mountain. There is a self empowerment feeling that occurs when they can indeed trust in themselves.
Further Readings – Self Confidence
“Am I Confident?”
Have you ever wondered if you have low confidence or high confidence? Let’s take a quick self confidence test.
Which person do you feel more like right now:
Person #1 – High Self-Confidence
- “I always try to do what is right, even though others may mock or criticize me for it.”
- “Sometimes I take risks, as well as go the extra mile to achieve and secure a better future for myself.”
- “I am willing to admit my mistake and I try to learn from them.”
- “I accept compliments graciously and know that it was my hard work that made it all work out.”
Person #2 – Low Self-Confidence
- “I always try to do what is right, but I let what other people think get in the way.”
- “I don’t like risks, because I fear failure, and instead I like to stay in my comfort zone.”
- “Often, I work hard to cover up my mistakes so that no one notices them.”
- “I dismiss (or deny) compliments, and don’t give any credit to my hard work.”
Are you person #1 or person #2? Perhaps you go back and forth between the two? If you are a highly confident person, then congratulations! There are many out there that aren’t, however. For those who are person#2, let’s look at how one might increase confidence in themselves!
How to Build Confidence
Learning how to improve self confidence really doesn’t have to be difficult. Building confidence comes down to self development. This article will now shift gears towards helping you learn how to become more confident by putting a “confidence building plan” into action.
Feel free to call this a mini confidence course. There will be “action steps” along the way. Go grab a pen and paper. Take notes and make goals so that you can gain confidence in yourself.
Step #1 – Understand Who You Really Are
There is a constant self-image war that is going on inside our minds. It’s like a battle…sometimes we win, and sometimes we lose. Either we are lacking confidence or we are gaining self confidence. The first step is to understand this battle; don’t get upset or beat yourself over it, you can change this part of your life!
Everyday we get up, we need to overcome negative feelings of our self-image and learn how to replace those feelings with positive assurances that we really are great and can tackle what life puts in front of us.
To do that, get to know yourself better. Understanding who you are…and how your brain ticks is a must!
Understanding strengths, the good things about yourself and what you do well are critical to knowing how to become confident. Keep in mind that everyone has limitations and weaknesses though. Also, sometimes we all create false, or artificial, limitations that we impose on ourselves. These are not true “limitations”. These can be overcome, with time, patience, and work.
Start by creating the following lists:
- My Strengths – Write every strength that you have and anything that is admirable about yourself.
- My Achievements – Write down every accomplishment and achievement that you have made.
- My Weaknesses – Write every weakness and limitation that you might have. For limitations, consider adding a note if it is real, or just a false limitation.
ACTION STEP – Understand who you really are. Create these three separate lists. Dig deep and be honest. After completing these three lists, move on.
Step #2 – Set Goals
Next, look at the list of weaknesses that was just created. Formulate a game-plan on how to attack each of those weaknesses that are listed.
Start by setting goals. Rome wasn’t built in a day; likewise, a confident giant won’t be built just in one day, or just by reading this post. Start by taking each of the listed weaknesses and attaching a goal for how to diminish and remove that weakness from your life. It’s imperative that each of these goals are actionable.
Use S.M.A.R.T. goals to keep this simple. For those who don’t know what S.M.A.R.T. goals are, here they are:
- Specific – Create simple, well defined goals. Don’t be vague or generalize the goals. Define exactly what direction the goal should go.
- Measurable –Include specific amounts, dates, or other measures to help know whether or not you have been successful.
- Attainable – Don’t set impossible goals. Be realistic. Make sure you can actually reach the goal that has been set, but don’t go easy! Raise the bar!
- Relevant – Keep the goal aligned with the direction the goal should go.
- Time – Set a deadline. Deadlines are perfect to measure one’s success, cause urgency, and know when to celebrate!
Create goals that will diminish and eventually eliminate your weaknesses. Work on them constantly, and eventually these weaknesses will become strengths.
ACTION STEP: Take the weakness list that has been created and write down a goal next to each item. Start working on the first and second weaknesses. Once those have been mastered, move on to the next ones on the list. After writing down your goals, move on.
Step #3 – Stay Positive, Kill the Negative
At some point in life, everyone fails and doesn’t obtain a goal. That’s just part of life. We are all human and we all make mistakes and don’t meet our full potential every single day.
It’s a big deal to recognize this. Keep in mind that everything will work out. You have strengths and have already achieved great things. You have identified weaknesses and written out a plan, along with goals, to turn those weaknesses into strengths.
This is reason to be POSITIVE and EXCITED about the future! If you stumble or fall, don’t worry about it! Get up and try again until you succeed…
or those who want to take this a step further, create some positive affirmations to say at moments of weakness. Here are some examples of positive affirmations:
- “I have confidence.”
- “My goals can be accomplished.”
- “I will increase confidence in myself through my positive actions today.”
- “I can and will have a positive outlook on life.”
- “My confidence level is my choice. I choose to be confident today.”
These are affirmations that will, overtime, help you have an increasingly positive outlook on yourself and life. Wake up every morning and recite these… it really does make a difference!
Kill the Negative
We all have a running, negative commentary in our minds. It really isn’t healthy! Negative thoughts have a way of limiting and damning our progression. Things like “this is too hard” or “I can’t make it”, are bound to set up anyone up for failure.
We all have some negative self-talk and at one time or another this kind of detrimental thinking will influence us into making wrong decisions.
The recognition of this negative self-talk, for what it truly is, will enable one to take the reins of their confidence. The next step is to change that self-talk with the positive affirmations that have been created.
Kill the negative. Squash it like a bug. Be rid of it and instead, be positive.
ACTION STEP: Write out three POSITIVE affirmations that you can say to yourself in front of the mirror…every… single… day.
Step #4 – Forget Yourself and Put Others First.
To some degree, we all need to spend some time on ourselves. We need to be selfish and make sure that we are in a good spot before we will have the ability to help others. For that reason, steps 1-3 are in this article. It is important to write out those three lists, do some goal setting, and work on staying positive before addressing this step.
After taking each of the first three steps, then it’s time to forget yourself and put others first. There is something magical about this step. Confidence levels will rise when you worry less about yourself and more on the needs of others.
Putting others first can come in many different forms. Serving a spouse, a girlfriend or boyfriend, a siblings, a coworker, or someone random on the street can be an exhilarating feeling.
Spend time helping others. Do some service or volunteer work. Doing so will help you feel happier, more satisfied, and your confidence will increase as you spend less time worrying about yourself and more time on others.
ACTION STEP – Find a way to help someone else today (and every day). Commit to it. Make it happen!
Further Readings – Self Confidence
Final Thoughts on How to Build Confidence
Hopefully this post has been helpful. If you went through this whole post and took the “action steps”, then you now know how to develop self confidence. No one needs to to walk through life with a lack of self confidence.
Being confident is absolutely within your reach! Stop having low self worth. Stop telling yourself, “I have no confidence”. YOU ARE IMPORTANT. Be confident and tackle life’s greatest challenges head on. Act on what you read today. Don’t just sit idle…do something about your confidence. It takes work, but getting there is possible.
If you are in the dumps, then get up and get going again. There is no shame in failure. Learn from it, then move forward and try to secure for yourself a better life and a better future.
You have a life that IS worth living.
Learning how to gain self confidence is a key life skill that puts YOU in control…and once you have that control, then you truly have POWER OVER LIFE!
Learn how to get confidence by using these two bonus items. Download them, print them, put them on your mirror, and share them with others that need them too. We hope they will help you do some self confidence coaching when you need it the most!
Self Confidence Tips – This is the complete list of tips on how to feel confident. Work on a few of these at a time.
Confidence Boosters – Here are the best self confidence quotes that can be found on the internet. Enjoy!
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